"I was told to be prepared for the audience to leave, but no one left - no one ever made a sound."
Zhu Xiaomei, the pianist who left China in disappointment more than 30 years ago, said she gained a lot of confidence in the country after the show held in Xi'an last Sunday.
"Four hundred CDs were sold out that night, and three suburban-looking girls came to me after the concert, saying they came all the way from Baotou in Inner Mongolia to Xi'an just for the show. I was touched beyond words," she recalled.
Zhu, now in her 60s, fled China for the US in the 1970s, a time when the only book she could find to read was Quotations of Chairman Mao. Later, in 1984, she moved to Paris, a dream since she was a teen.
Zhu said Paris not only refined her feelings and emotions and nurtured her character, but also influenced her to pursue art as no one was watching. It also led her to always probe deeper into the music to feel its soul.
Guided by this spirit, Zhu has consistently played Bach for more than 25 years. Eventually, Bach's Goldberg Variations just flowed out of her so naturally and earnestly as if it were a part of her, and she soon became a favorite among Bach fans in Europe after her first CD came out in 2000.
But to the surprise of many, Zhu said the people who understand Bach best are not Westerners, but the Chinese, even though they began listening to him relatively late and weren't aware of her until recent years. "We share the same sentiments, the virtue of modesty. We can understand such feelings as they are also bound in Bach," Zhu said.
Encouraged and invited by some Chinese music critics, Zhu was persuaded to give several concerts in China in 2014. This year, she also toured several cities in West China to "make Bach heard". On Tuesday, Zhu gave a concert at St Joseph's Church in Beijing, saying it might be the last concert in China given her age.
A disciple of Lao Tze
In the documentary, Zhu Xiao-Mei and the Goldberg Variations, filmed by Michel Mollard, Zhu said that the episode Aria in Goldberg Variations aroused in her the same feelings as expressed by Lao Tze (also known as Lao Zi), "The return is the movement of Tao".
Having not encountered the works of Lao Tze until she was 30, Zhu said that his philosophy made her feel humble and greatly inspired her interest in Chinese classics.
"It was on the plane I was leaving China that I learned about it for the first time. The American sitting next to me told me that the Chinese he admired the most was Lao Tze, and read out a line to me. It made an impact on me, and later Taoism became the philosophy I live by."
That line was about self-cultivation, for which Lao Tze used water as a comparison to virtue of the highest level: "The highest level of ethics is like water, which is beneficial for all things, without striving for fame and gain".
According to Zhu, the line echoed within her, and her life opened to a new chapter as she gradually grasped the essence of the philosopher.
"I used to think in my youth that we had to be successful, and it was very important to always compete for the best. We had to live like a fighter, even if it meant sacrificing life. But at the age of 40 or so, I suddenly realized that this should not be the case," she said.
Zhu said she began to appreciate the power of the water, which always goes down, benefits all, competes with none, yet can penetrate hard rocks over time. "Powerful people should be like the water, tender and mild like it, and crack the hard rocks in life," Zhu said it is in the works of Lao Tze that she found her way of living life and reliving Bach.
It made sense – it explained why many of her Western fans think Zhu's version of the Goldberg Variations is uniquely different - powerful without being overpowering, insightful yet completely self-effacing. "I felt an intense excitement when I heard people say that I am communicating ancient Chinese thoughts through Western music – that's exactly what I have been doing and will keep doing", Zhu said.
An old servant of Bach
Zhu always calls herself an old servant of Bach.
"Bach is the companion for a lonely soul; it is a friend that never betrays you. I simply cannot not play it," Zhu said, adding that Bach is the first thing she turns to whenever she feels lonesome or sad, as it can always derive in her a sense of security.
Having been playing Bach for more than 25 years, Zhu said she never gets tired of it – she simply wants to play Bach for literally everyone who loves it.
The church is the place where Zhu loves to play Bach most. She has given over a hundred performances in the churches in Europe – "the church is a place that can calm me down". But she doesn't think that Bach is religious music. "It is most worldly, as Bach is the music about life," she said.
"Bach is a genius who is able to compose multiple parts of music in harmony. We may not hear each other if we talk at the same time, but that's not the case for Bach. The multiple parts are complementary, they have different characters, but they can magically stay in tune."
In Zhu's words, the polyphony of Bach gave her another perspective of life - that everyone's opinion should be valued, and the powerful cannot monopolize the right to speak. "For artists, especially, it is very important to guard the rights of the underprivileged," she said.
Once, Zhu travelled to places in Germany – Eisenach, the city where Bach was born; Ohrdruf, the place where Bach was adopted after his parents passed away; Arnstadt, where Bach got married; Leipzig, the city where Bach composed the Goldberg Variations and died.
Having been to such places, Zhu felt once again connected to the great musician. "In Goldberg Variations, Bach composed his life into the music. It is about his life, about ours, about everyone," Zhu said in the documentary.
As the only one to have played at the tomb of Bach, Zhu said she felt grateful for Bach. "The 30 chapters of Goldberg Variations are also the 30 chapters of my life, a life that includes both the inferno and the kingdom of heaven," she said.
"People should also be grateful for Bach - who understands human nature more than Bach?"
Zhu Xiaomei always wear the same clothes while she performs in the past thirty years, and she would bow to the audience everytime after the show.
