I've been practicing walking on all fours for months.
My barking is really coming along, as are my slobbering and my eating out of a bowl on the floor.
You see, I was moved by Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak suggesting in March that the future is "scary" and that we're all going to become the pets of our computers.
I like to get ahead, so I thought I'd prepare.
All the slobbering was for nought. In an interview with Business Insider, Woz seems to have decided it's all going to be fine.
"I totally reversed myself for a lot of reasons," he said.
Has he decided that Elon Musk and friends, who have contributed $1 billion to keep robots from becoming our masters, will prevail? Not quite.
"Moore's law isn't going to make those machines smart enough to think really the way a human does," he said.
Woz has clearly given this some deep mind thinking.
"When machines can out-think humans, they can't be as intuitive and say what will I do next and what is an approach that might get me there," he said. "They can't figure out those sorts of things."
I used to think the same about the engineers in Silicon Valley. But now they're trying very, very hard to be as intuitive as humans. Or, at least, remotely as intuitive.
It looks like, then, the future will be a place where nerdy machines are far, far smarter than us but devoid of basic human instincts. Plus ça change, as the French mutter into their kir royales at New Year's.
Woz, though, sounds as if he's cast off his cares and is bounding giddily again into the future.
"These machines might become independent thinkers," he said. "But if they do, they're going to be partners of humans over all other species just forever."
Forever, you understand. Forever. Just like the most solid of marriages.
