My heart pirouetted and then skipped right out of my shirt.
I don't always know genius when I see it, but when I heard that Tinder was bringing out an Apple TV app, I felt sure this was the breakthrough that so many (didn't know they) were waiting for.
The idea is that you can now project your Tinder app onto a big screen and examine your potential matches at a larger size. With friends. And, now that the holidays are upon us, with family.
I understand that some might be appalled that, should they be single during the festivities, they'll be set upon by grizzly aunts and grouchy siblings, to display where they're going wrong for all to see.
Oh, no. Look at the size of her nostrils! She could win the Kentucky Derby.
You're going to swipe right on HIM?!! The man with the garden hedge for eyebrows!
This isn't cruelty. It's caring. These people want you to be happy. But, more than that, they want to save you from being unhappy. This is because they're bored of you telling them how unhappy you are.
So, if you're single, please agree to play along. Your friends and family might offer you some perspective that simply hadn't crossed your mind. After all, it takes just one right swipe to change your life. I know people to whom happiness arrived after Tindering in company.
And this is the sharing society. (Trademark applied for by M. Zuckerberg.)
I do suggest, though, that you demand one condition before you start. Make the members of your family draw lots. The winner has to also sign up for Tinder. This is regardless of whether they're married or in some sort of relationship.
After all, Tinder is a game. Even Tinder itself said in its press release that the Apple TV version is "the biggest thing to hit family night since Yahtzee." So Tinder for Apple TV is a TV game show and you can't have a game show without a little competition.
The rules you should follow go like this: Each contestant has 10 minutes of Tindering. The winner is the one who gets most matches.
This is where true human expertise comes out. This is where those who talk a good relationship game can now prove it. It's also where you learn a lot about your family.
You can play it like a pool game in a bar, except in reverse. It isn't the winner who stays in the game to take on the next challenger. It's the loser.
That should make for some exceptional and very revealing Christmas family fun, shouldn't it?
