Getting Parental Marriage Approval
If Li lovers plan to marry, they need the permission from parents in both families. The boy's parents will invite two matchmakers to visit the girls' parents and bring four best-quality areca nuts to them. This gift is used to find out the parents' attitude about the marriage. Receiving the Binglang and eating it means they accept the wedding proposal.
Then the two families will negotiate on the date of "exchanging areca nuts," another important step of betrothal. The date always is decided on the even number day in June or August according to the Chinese calendar, symbolizing the couples' love for each other.
Sending Areca for Betrothal
Before marriage, the boy's parents will send a betrothal gift to the girl's family and propose marriage on a selected auspicious day.
Because it is ever-green, symbolizing the couple's marriage and happiness lasting forever, areca is indispensable among the gifts. Besides the girl's family, areca nuts will be sent from door to door so as to accept best wishes from relatives and friends. In all of the 600 areca nuts, there are 40 caved with wavy patterns specially prepared for the girl's parents.
Only two female relatives (widows are prohibited) are allowed to attend to the banquet to treat guests from the boy's family. During the banquet, four persons sitting around the table, dropping chopsticks and salver collision are totally ineffable, and the dishes, usually without meat, are always fish with a slit tails.
Request for Marriage Date
After preparing enough money, in that December according to the Chinese calendar, the boy's parents will send again two matchmakers to the girl's house to request for a marriage date, bringing gifts of a couple of duck, two jars of rice spirit, and eight areca nuts. The marriage date is always on the even number day.
Before the wedding, usually 400 or 600 yuan (US $56 or 80), two tight-fitting long skirts, one ring, one pig and eight jars of rice spirit should be sent to the girl's home.
The Wedding
The wedding ceremony often begins in the evening. But in that afternoon before the sun sets, bringing areca nuts, cigarettes and candies, two female representatives from the boy's family will come to pick up the bride. As it's getting dark the bride will be dressed by her sisters-in-law. Before leaving her family, the bride and her sisters will cry together to express her gratitude to her parents. Her brothers-in-law will pull the crying bride out and send her to the boy's village, being led by the band, and followed with two or four little brothers.
At the bride's arrival, the groom and his attendants will bow three times to the bride and her brothers. The firecrackers will be let off as soon as the bride enters the gate. Wearing a special tight-fitting long skirt, the bride will kotow in the wedding ceremony with the groom. And the wedding room party continues until the day-break.
The relatives and friends will come to the wedding banquet the next day. At about 10 am, the couple will go back to the girl's family to greet her parents. This is called "back way." Then, the wedding ceremony ends.
