Love and Marriage Affairs
The lyrics from a Monba love song go like this: "Mountains though high in the northeast, cannot block the sun in the sky; parents though powerful at home, cannot stop their children from choosing their own love." Love and marriage affairs of Monba young people are not restricted. Usually if the two fall in love with each other, parents from one side will ask a matchmaker to propose marriage to the other side. Betrothal gifts are necessary for both sides. In the past, however, marriage between cousins used to be prevalent and a lot of lovers were separated from marriage in the end due to this old custom.
A wedding ceremony is quite interesting. Before the ceremony, the bridegroom should take some wine contained in several bamboo tubes with him and go to welcome the bride. The bride is supposed to drink three times on her way to the wedding ceremony. When the bride steps into the room, the groom's family should offer meat, wine and fried dough cakes to the guests. They should also present hada (a piece of white silk used as a greeting gift) to the guests and talk with them with ceremonious deference until the bride's uncle is satisfied with everything, then all the guests can start to go on a drinking spree.
At the wedding banquet, the bride and groom should propose toasts to the guests in turn. Guests might ask the new couple to propose toasts to each other as well. It is believed that whoever drinks up the wine first between the couple will be in charge of their family.
Bride's Uncle: the Wedding Ceremony Meddler
The uncle from the bride's side is the most privileged guest in the process of the wedding ceremony. When the uncle comes, people from the groom side present hada to him immediately and seat him in the honored place. Various foods, especially head, tail, ears, heart, liver, lungs or legs of a cow, pig or sheep should be on the table.
However, the uncle from the bride side is always dissatisfied with the ceremony and tries his best find fault on the groom's side. He might complain: "Why isn't the meat well cut?" "Do you mean our girl is not perfect?" "Do you mean that I am wrong by treating me impolitely?" Even though everything is well prepared, the uncle will still be picky about something: "Why is the tea so cold?" "Why is the wine so hot?" Through these constant inquiries, the uncle can show resentments from the bride side towards the groom's side. Meanwhile, the groom and his family members will offer hada, money, good wine and incessant flattering words to the bride's uncle.
When the uncle feels he has complained enough, he will stop. In reality, no uncle can prohibit his niece from getting married. Interestingly, this ancient tradition exhibiting the uncle's power is a humorous episode for the whole wedding ceremony.
